So... that’s it. We’ll be moving on with our lives in very separate ways pretty soon. I can’t say that you’ve been the greatest in these 2.5 years. I can’t even say it was love at first sight when I saw you. It was more of a case of being forced to make a decision. You were cheap, small and sort of cute. And then reality caught up: you were damp, smelly, had all sort of vermin, and you were boiling in summer and freezing in winter. Nothing was ever practical or straight forward. I ended up nearly hating you, and was so desperate to get away from you.
Your replacement? Younger, secure and well insulated. Dear flat, I’m moving out on Friday, to a new place where the thermostat works, the shower is not a trickle and walls are thick, giving decent insulation and privacy (no more “Coronation Street” theme tune coming from the neighbour’s TV). I won’t have to deal anymore with real life Del Boys, my mail will be coming straight through my door and if I want to add some shelves I won’t be stopped by awkward wall shapes.
I am absolutely beaming right now.